


(dancing in the rain) drip drop.

by jaysgatsby



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Bottom Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Canon Compliant, Deepthroating, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Top Suh Youngho | Johnny, lapslock, yes i'm back with more johnjae porn but This Time it's 14k words ur welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27116884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaysgatsby/pseuds/jaysgatsby
Summary: the entirety of their friendship flashes before jaehyun’s eyes, and there are so many little things that he had noticed, but written off as typical or explained away by his friend’s overly-affectionate nature. but due to fear, he hadn’t allowed himself to consider that even then, there was clearly something special about them; about the way they treated each other, the way they communicate, the way they justare,together. it’s love, it’s always been love. it always will be.--jaehyun and johnny share a tender moment in the rain, and it leads to so much more. everything they ever wanted, in fact.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 20
Kudos: 207





	(dancing in the rain) drip drop.

**Author's Note:**

> i am Back with another fic that no one asked for :)
> 
> remember when i said i love canon johnjae? yeah i love canon johnjae. if you're unfamiliar with the legendary ennana moment this fic is based on, feel free to get caught up to speed [here](https://twitter.com/johnjaethings/status/1116318331852615680)! 
> 
> also this is kind of a prequel to my last fic, but not enough for me to make it a series. i actually fucked up the timeline on that fic because i thought this happened in 2017, but it actually happened in 2018 lol.
> 
> sidenote, it rained almost the entire time i wrote this and it's raining right now as i publish it. i think god is trying to tell me that johnjae is real and i am Listening.
> 
> anyway, enjoy! and stream resonance! ♡
> 
> p.s., as per usual i am rushing to post this so it is about 60% proofread. please just ignore any errors, i will go back and fix them later lol.

_july, 2018._

“it’s been so rainy this summer.”

a focused gaze raises from the screen of his phone at the invoiced request for his attention, bolstered by the fact that jaehyun and taeyong are the only people in the living room at the time the words had been uttered. he gives a low hum in consideration of his leader’s statement, a wordless signifier that his observation hadn’t fallen upon deaf ears, for jaehyun doesn’t know what more he could add besides equally meaningless one-word testimonies of agreement. in addition, he and taeyong are comfortable enough in their friendship to not always require words to have a conversation; they’ve been close since they were trainees, so there are instances where they just ‘get’ what each other mean without having to waste time elaborating or sprinkling in unnecessary vibrations of the throat for the sake of politeness. 

taeyong is right, though; the summer has been inordinately wet. rain has poured from the sky for days on end, drenching seoul in its waterworks and giving each and every city light a dazzling reflection across the bustling streets at night; fogging up every car window and painting a portrait of thin droplets racing each other along the untouchable side of the glass surface. aside from that, it’s been _hot,_ too, which is expected after the second solstice, but temperatures have skyrocketed beyond what is normal for the peninsula they call home, leaving civilians under the misinformed delusion that they wouldn’t get sick after being out in the rain too long, since it isn’t cold outside. jaehyun had watched some of the younger members encounter this lesson the hard way. 

“be sure to carry an umbrella with you to the sbs building,” the leader adds, brushing caramel-toned fringe away from his dark eyes, which focus on jaehyun with an almost flustering amount of maternal concern, “i don’t want either you or johnny to catch a cold. you know how he is; sometimes it’s an ordeal just getting him to put on a jacket …” the older man keeps talking, but jaehyun accidentally tunes out of the discussion, as his thoughts calibrate to form an image of the warm and handsome face of his co-host, and the sweet and comforting sound of the man’s laughter echoes in the back of his head. 

nct’s night night is something of a year old at this point, so the routine of driving to the broadcast building with johnny and sometimes taeyong or doyoung had engrained itself well into jaehyun’s evenings, to the extent that his entire day has come to surround the nights he’d be on for the show. he enjoys the show quite a lot; it’s calming and entertaining, he likes to chat with the guests and especially with johnny, and he finds himself growing closer and closer to his groupmate with every single show, noticing more of the seemingly endless list of johnny’s charms every time they sit down together to put out a new episode. 

jaehyun had really grown attached to the program, and to _johnny;_ they’d always been good friends, and he’d always admired the older man for his versatility as an artist and a person, his endlessly optimistic outlook on life, and the way he just seems to always _know_ what to do in every situation, even if he has no clue in reality. johnny is just so warm and charismatic; confident and unashamed to live in his own skin (who _would be_ ashamed if they were that attractive, honestly?), and yet so down-to-earth and genuine all the same. there’s simply an energy about the other man that draws people in, like a magnetic field encompasses him, and jaehyun toed that radius for the many years they had known each other. now, he’s fully stuck on johnny, but it’s not so scary because he can feel that the other, who’s come to be his best friend over the time they’ve been doing the show, cherishes their bond just as much. after all, johnny is not shy when he shows affection, no matter how it may come off — he doesn’t seem to care what others think or how they read his actions, just so long as the one to whom he’s trying to get through knows how much they mean to him. johnny is just _special,_ jaehyun thinks. cut from a different cloth, but a cloth that feels so pleasant against jaehyun’s skin, he’d want to be covered in it from head to toe. 

“what are you smiling about?”

the pointedness of taeyong’s tone pops the sweet bubble of jaehyun’s johnny-related thoughts, leaving him flanked by the less warm, less rosy image of reality, once again. the leader is looking at him with an expression that closely matches the perplexed nature of his inquiry, one of his sculpted brows arched near his smooth forehead and disappearing into his fringe, and his naturally-pouty lips protruding even more than their standard. he sees taeyong’s eyes dart away from his face and toward the perimeter of his visage, where jaehyun’s ears have surely dyed a telling shade of pink, and he can _see_ the gears turning in taeyong’s mind, clueing him in on what, or _who,_ jaehyun had been thinking about so fondly. 

“nothing,” the younger answers hurriedly, locking his phone and raising from the couch he’d been perched on for god knows how long, now, “i just thought of something funny, that’s all. i’ll be sure to bring an umbrella tonight, hyung, no worries.” clearing his throat, jaehyun gently tugs the throw pillows back into the proper places and straightens up, smiling at his friend as he briskly exits the room, murmuring something about how he’s got to get ready to record tonight. he doesn’t hear the other man say anything, but the change in taeyong’s expression is burned into the back of his mind, as it resembles too closely the face doyoung had given him months prior, during a conversation jaehyun would rather not dredge up from the repressed faction of his memory, right now. he doesn’t want to think about the wide-eyed stare, doesn’t want to remember the words he knows in his heart are true, doesn’t want to have to face the nature of his feelings toward johnny, and what it means. things are fine the way that they are, and he doesn’t like the idea of messing anything up for his own sake. jaehyun really wouldn’t know what to do if johnny suddenly became awkward toward him, or didn’t want to be around him anymore altogether — he’s become so attached to the other man, viewing him as the best part of his day, as the one person who really understands him, who he feels endlessly comfortable with … it’s just not worth even the slightest risk of changing any of that, for the relief of his aching heart. he can endure this. he’s endured worse.

truth be told, he hadn’t ever thought much of the possibility that his relationship with johnny could have crossed any platonic boundaries until doyoung said something after watching the way they interacted that night, and hearing how jaehyun would speak of the other man like he’d _‘hung every single star in the sky.’_ since then, jaehyun had made a point to be more careful with how he speaks about johnny to others, as he doesn’t want anyone else to come to the same conclusion, but when he’s speaking to johnny himself, filtering or hiding anything doesn’t come to mind at all, because they’re almost always on the same page. everything just _works_ between them. he wouldn’t expect anyone else to understand. maybe it does look like he’s in love with johnny to outsiders, and maybe he honestly _could be in love with johnny_ — who could blame him? he’s a young and healthy gay man with a functioning brain, and johnny is his objectively attractive bisexual friend overflowing with good qualities and loving energy. it only makes sense that jaehyun would fall for him at one point or another, right? that doesn’t mean action has to be taken. it doesn’t mean their reality as they know it has to change. johnny is so hopelessly romantic, if he’d have felt the same way, jaehyun would probably know it by now. 

there’s no reason to make things complicated. 

donghyuck isn’t in their room when jaehyun opens the door. he figures the other had gone to play games with one of the others or is occupied at the dream dorm, but he doesn’t question it beyond that, ultimately thankful to be able to have some time to himself. the grayish overcast desaturates the setting sun and makes the room look gloomy, but jaehyun doesn’t even think to flick the lightswitch, and only sits on his bed, listening to the sound of the steadily increasing rain hitting the roof, sounding like millions of little taps against the shingles and the windows. jaehyun never minded the rain. it’s comforting; relaxing, even, with its steady pattern and muted atmosphere. but something about summer rains feels sentimental, like time off from school, watching the heavens cry from the window, as his mother urged him not to play outside in the ‘bad’ weather, because he’d surely make a mess once he came back inside. 

it would be nice not to care, jaehyun thinks. to play in the rain, to feel the downpour soak him through his clothes, and to not worry about what would happen after, just for once. 

yet, it would be unwise to risk getting sick, or making a mess. especially after he promised taeyong he would bring his umbrella. 

♡

the car ride back to the dorms after recording ennana is never silent. even if the both of them are exhausted, they always manage to make conversation, whether it’s boisterous laughter that annoys their manager as he tries to navigate the road safely, or concealed giggles and whispers just between the two of them. it had been only them and a special guest for tonight’s show, so jaehyun and johnny sit comfortably in the captains chairs in the middle of the predominantly empty van. their manager stopped being confused as to why one of them wouldn’t want to sit in the front ages ago, because they always do this; always want to be close to each other under the guise of making conversation more accessible. 

“do you two want to stop for dinner?” asks the man behind the wheel, interrupting a bout of low giggles they’d been sharing. 

a pensive silence greets the man, johnny and jaehyun exchanging glances, but not actually speaking. their manager seems to genuinely think they’re communicating telepathically — which really wouldn’t be a surprise, at this point. the reality is that both of them are well-aware that they’ve already eaten, and they just like to spook their manager, finding it beyond fun to tease the man, who often bemoans being stuck with their antics. 

“nah, we’re good,” johnny finally answers, after drawing out the silence for a pulse too long, awkward like an extra beat in a song, “we both ate earlier. thanks for asking, though.”

jaehyun chuckles behind his hand at their manager’s unnerved expression, watching as the man turns his gaze away from where he can see them in the rearview and focuses on the road once again. the windshield wipers flex in a steady back-and-forth rhythm, clearing the pouring rain from the slab of glass so that snapshot glimpses of the road can determine his next move. there’s a comfortable quiet that follows the banterous exchange; johnny scrolls through his phone for a few minutes and jaehyun leans back into his seat, listening to the sound of the elements as they pitter-patter against the car, like little children eager to say hello. 

“you didn’t come to the room today,” johnny speaks after an indeterminate stretch of wordlessness had elapsed, and his whisper is soft and mild, so it doesn’t startle jaehyun. the younger man glances toward his friend, whose honey-coloured eyes are trained on him, as though there’s nothing else in the world to look at, and he is content with that. 

jaehyun feels his heartbeat pick up just a little bit, and he chuckles softly, almost airily, leaning on a closed fist and willing himself to meet the other man’s gaze. “i guess i didn’t,” he replies just as quietly, licking his lips to stall as his brain desperately gathers more words to say, “i think taeyong hyung is getting tired of me crashing the party.”

he’s answered with a sweet chuckle, johnny’s head lolling back against the seat’s headrest and his shoulders raising briefly before melting back into tensionless comfort. “there’s no party without you there. what, you don’t miss me anymore?”

though he can tell johnny is teasing him, jaehyun bites his lower lip, wondering if there’s any bit of honest concern to that question. when they first switched roommates, jaehyun would creep into johnny and taeyong’s room literally every single day, whether it was just to talk and laugh and spend time together, or to curl up next to johnny in his bed after a long day. taeyong, while far from annoyed by it, definitely thought something strange was going on between them — while johnny can be very cuddly and affectionate, he’s often irascible about other people being in his bed, especially at the same time he is in it. but johnny never batted an eye when he’d find jaehyun there; only wrapped an arm around him or fit himself against the younger man in a perfect spoon. none of the three men had ever been bold enough to comment about it, but it happened often enough that taeyong seemed to simply accept it as normal, and life went on. 

but lately, jaehyun has come to the room less and less. he tells himself it has nothing to do with doyoung confronting him about his feelings, yet the timeline matches up too perfectly for him to fool even his own conscience, so he doesn’t even try to convince himself that it’s not a lie. being with johnny in less intimate settings (even if everything tends to feel strangely intimate between them, in some way) is easy and comes naturally, but sharing a bed with him is different, now that he’s unfortunately very aware of these feelings that he’d been so blissfully ignorant to before. he still shows up considerably often to just chat and spend time with two of his favourite hyungs, but when it’s time to get under the covers, he all but scurries back to his own room like a frightened kitten, unable to bear so much as the thought of being so close to johnny, let alone actually _doing_ it. 

he knew it would come up eventually, that johnny would notice that something had changed. he just hadn’t thought it would be this soon. 

“of course i still miss you,” he answers, taking a deep breath as subtly as he can. he thinks johnny notices, still, given how intently he is still looking at jaehyun, “i was just … busy, today. i’ve been busy lately, really. and i’ve had a lot on my mind.” he faces the older man once more, seeing that johnny’s expression has gone somewhat serious. “you know i … go into my shell, sometimes.”

“i do know,” says johnny, smoothing his thumb along the screen of his locked phone, seemingly just to keep his hands busy, “i just … if i did something, or —”

“you didn’t,” jaehyun cuts in immediately, not wanting to allow that seed even the slightest chance to germinate, “you haven’t done anything, hyung. it’s just me. i’ve been going through some weird stuff, lately. i … i miss spending all day and all night with you a lot, actually. i just didn’t think you’d want to be around me so much, when i get like that.”

johnny sighs, shaking his head, but he gives jaehyun a heart-achingly sweet smile when their eyes meet again. he reaches out, tousling jaehyun’s hair affectionately, and the younger man can’t stop himself from giggling, exaggeratedly trying to bat johnny’s hand away. “i always want to spend time with you, jaehyunah. you’re my best friend. let’s hang out tonight, okay?”

he just looks at the older man for a moment, a certain sparkle in his eye as their gazes linger, as often they do. there’s a familiar throb in jaehyun’s chest, like a sinking ache that burns all the way from his collarbone to his guts, but he feels like sunflowers are blooming in his ribcage as he looks at johnny’s face. “yeah,” he agrees, smiling back, “let’s do that.” 

“alright. i’ll text taeyong and tell him he’s kicked out.”

“you’re going to make him hate me,” jaehyun laughs, and johnny snickers, the blue light of his phone shining against his face as he opens the device. jaehyun recognizes the bright and colourful screen of kakaotalk. 

“he’ll hate _me,”_ johnny corrects, clicking his tongue, “but it’ll be fine. taeyong couldn’t hold a grudge even if he tried.”

jaehyun hums, and the short remainder of the ride goes by without much speaking. he falls into listening to the rain once again, finding that the tempo of the falling droplets compliments that of his pounding heart, whether naturally or otherwise. 

the downpour only seems to be picking up, but it’s manageable enough for them to be able to see what’s in front of them as they climb out of the van, sharing jaehyun’s umbrella, as johnny had neglected to bring one as per taeyong’s prediction. they huddle close as they run up to the dorm, laughing like children as the water splashes up around them, drenching their shoes and socks, and the cuffs of their jeans. 

♡

by the time they get changed and comfortable, the strength of the rainfall has increased once again, to the point that it looks as though waves are cascading down the windows. jaehyun watches in awe, enchanted by the blurred city lights and the gentle sounds of the raging weather, wondering how something so intense could be so calming at the same time. taeyong is long gone, likely holed up in the other room with donghyuck for the night, and jaehyun isn’t sure why he’d felt nervous or anxious earlier, because as johnny sits beside him now, the two of them leaning against each other and watching a movie, he can only register bliss and comfort in his mind and heart. what had he been thinking, running away from this? 

the film comes to an end, and though the two of them had hardly paid attention the entire time, much too focused on each other, johnny immediately starts to look for something else to watch once the credits scroll by on the screen. jaehyun admires johnny’s pretty fingers as they move along the buttons of the remote, knowing how much larger johnny’s hands are than his, as they had compared multiple times over the years. the younger eventually lets his eyes close as he leans against the other man’s shoulder, the sounds of the pouring rain soothing any straggling nerves left in his brain. 

he thinks about how the evening had gone; the various things they talked about with their guest on the show, the breaks in between where they’d laugh and have water and snacks and take selfies before returning to finish out the program. he thinks about their conversation in the car, the joke they played on their manager, the way they playfully ran up to the door and splashed around in the rain like carefree kids. it had all been so nice. but there’s something more he wants, and he knows it — he doesn’t want to risk crossing a line, but he can’t help the way his heart keeps reaching out for more, like they’re on the brink of turning these simple moments into memories that will last a lifetime. 

opening his eyes, jaehyun sits up, and the action immediately garners johnny’s attention. 

“do you have to go to the bathroom?” he asks, blinking at his friend, who chuckles a little and shakes his head. 

“ah, no … hyung, would you … do you want to go outside?”

johnny’s eyes distend in disbelief. “outside? jaehyun, it’s pouring buckets out there. we’d get soaked.”

“yeah,” jaehyun answers, unbothered by the prospect of being doused by the rain — even _excited_ by it. he smiles, taking the remote from johnny’s hand and setting it down on the bedside table, before entwining his fingers with the older man’s, “it’ll be fun, and refreshing. come on, please, hyung?”

the older only blinks at him for a moment, gaze alternating between looking at jaehyun to see if he’s serious and glancing toward the window, where he can see that the rain is still coming down heavily. “well …” gradually, the unsurety seems to melt away from johnny’s face, the more he looks at jaehyun, like the younger’s eager energy is contagious, and slowly turning him away from sanity. “ah, okay. why the hell not? come on, i’ll race you to the terrace. last one out gets the shower second!”

immediately, the two men bubble up into sweet laughter, rushing to shove their bare feet into their respective slides and clambering out the bedroom door. they pass through the empty living room and make their way to the terrace, overlooking the glittering city, which shines even more as the rain comes down onto it. johnny hurriedly pushes the door open, but jaehyun flies past him and out onto the terrace, laughing and jumping victoriously as the pouring rain immediately starts to soak through his hair and clothes. 

johnny pouts as he comes out after him, whining that it’s unfair that jaehyun took advantage of his having to open the door like that, but he finds himself being splashed by jaehyun, who had gathered the falling water into his hands and thrown it at him. it doesn’t take the older man long at all to register what had just happened, and soon he’s doing the same, chasing jaehyun around the width of the terrace with cupped hands brimming with rain water, ready to splash him as thoroughly as possible in retaliation. they both laugh, the sounds of their joy muted by the rain, but tangible to one another; they can _feel_ the warmth and the exaltation of the moment, like their hearts had been connected by a string. 

the rain coming down and soaking through their clothes is such a liberating feeling. it isn’t the same as being caught involuntarily in the elements without preparation; they _chose_ to be among the downpour, fully wanting and expecting to be drenched completely, in the most beautiful and freeing way. the child dwelling within jaehyun’s heart sings for joy, cannot hear his mother’s voice scolding him to come back inside from the house, and does not worry about what will happen afterward; how wet and cold he will be, and the water they will track into the dorm. all he can think about is how free and happy he feels, and how grateful he is to share this moment with the most special person in his life. they hold hands, spinning about the terrace and squeezing their eyes shut as the falling rain threatens to blind them, coming down so hard they can barely see anything, even each other. but they _know_ that the other is there; whether they’re touching or not, they can feel each other. it feels like being at home.

as the shower from the heavens continues to rain down onto them, johnny stops, taking hold of jaehyun by the biceps. their gazes lock, and all at once, jaehyun realizes how close they are to one another — not just physically, in this moment, but in every other way. he realizes that he’s never met anyone like johnny in his life, and he’ll probably never meet another person like him again; someone that’s not only so wonderful in every way, but who really understands him, and who embraces the parts of him that he maybe doesn’t understand as much. it feels like his heart has leapt into his throat as he feels johnny’s strong hands holding him, sees the way his soaked shirt clings to his plush pectorals and defined muscles and makes him look ethereal, like some kind of god. water droplets cascade down his face, cling to his eyelashes and lips, and he doesn’t know how long they just stand there, looking at each other, but it feels like both an eternity and a matter of seconds, not long enough. 

“you look so beautiful like this,” johnny tells him, and jaehyun wonders if he’d stolen his own thoughts about johnny right from his head. nevertheless, the older man says it like he believes it, like he’s never believed anything more in his life; his eyes take in every centimeter of jaehyun’s drenched body, seem to trace every curve and crevice, until they ultimately settle on his face, and bear into his own loving gaze, like their eyes reflect off one another endlessly; mirrors facing each other in an empty room, the sky and the ocean pouring infinitely into each other. “you always look beautiful. but right now …” 

he never finishes that sentence. he doesn’t have to. johnny’s wet hands move up from jaehyun’s biceps to his shoulders, then to his face, which he cups like he’s holding the most precious diamond in the world, pulled fresh from the earth and unseen by all but his own fortunate eyes. moments later, as if it were the most natural thing, innate to their souls, their lips meet in a soft touch that jaehyun will never forget; all plush and sweet and gentle, like flower petals brushing up against each other in the height of spring, swaying in a soft wind of affection. jaehyun’s arms loop around johnny’s shoulders, and the two men melt into each other, words they hadn’t yet had the courage to say spilling in between the raindrops and pouring all over them, saturating them in love. though the relentless rain makes everything blurred and foggy, jaehyun has never seen or felt anything clearer than his feelings for johnny in this moment. 

the kiss is tender and chaste, warmth spreading between the mild movements of their soft, wet lips, but the way they’re holding onto each other is desperate, as though both of them have waited for this moment for years on end, like they had both imagined what it would be like to hold each other like this, to share a kiss so deep and sentimental. jaehyun knows it’s true for himself; knows he had curled up in his bed many nights to thoughts of being intimate with johnny, even back when they shared a room. how many times had he woken up and just stared at the other man, hoping it would somehow draw him near, that they could share a bed in more ways than one? so many tender nights had been embraced and yet wasted, jaehyun too petrified by the fear of rejection and the potential loss of their life-changing bond to make a move of any sort. through this kiss, he thinks he can feel that johnny had been pining for him, too; that there were oceans of desire pent up in him, contained by whatever hesitation barred the shores of his affections. 

their tongues brush smoothly, and jaehyun gasps, tightening his grip on johnny’s hair. everything is wet and slippery thanks to the rain, but there’s something so immaculate about it. jaehyun feels grounded and safe in johnny’s arms, so caught up in how deeply in love he is with his best friend that he doesn’t even feel the raindrops anymore, doesn’t care that his hair and clothes are soaked through in a soggy mess. he doesn’t care about anything. at least, anything that’s not johnny, and the way his soft, plump lips are driving jaehyun _crazy._

when the necessity of adequate oxygen urges them to part, jaehyun’s wet fringe sticks to his forehead and partially obstructs his vision, but he can tell that johnny is staring at him while heavy breaths pump through both of their chests and shoulders. jaehyun can taste the rain on his tongue as his lips remain parted, but it doesn’t wash away the essence of johnny on his mouth. for the briefest of moments, he thinks to run, or to panic, but the way the other man is looking at him holds him to the place he stands like an anchor. besides, his arms are still around johnny’s neck, hands still tangled into his hair, and johnny has taken ahold of his waist by now, rendering him beautifully immobile. 

“jaehyun …” johnny murmurs, reaching up to try to clear the younger’s saturated fringe from his eyes, “let’s go back inside.”

he can only nod, though he feels a smile start to spread across his lips, dimples perforating both his cheeks. he watches johnny’s eyes widen, but the other man smiles back within seconds, leaning in to press one last fleeting kiss to jaehyun’s lips. 

“what are you smiling about?”

the question sounds familiar, but jaehyun actually answers truthfully this time, too mindless with infatuation to even consider conceiving a lie. “tonight has been the most special night of my life,” he says, eyes sparkling as he looks at the other man. “what about you? what are _you_ smiling about?”

“a similar reason,” answers johnny, chuckling softly as he pulls jaehyun closer, “but tonight’s not over yet, is it?”

♡

were he to ask his past self what ‘pure bliss’ would entail for him, jaehyun might have answered with something along the lines of a warm spring night with a great vinyl record he’d just added to his collection and no schedules the next morning. he’d have likely never guessed it would be this; wrapped up in a warm, fluffy towel on johnny’s bed, drying off after playing in the rain with him. they were meant to shower as soon as they’d come back in, but they’ve only been lying here beside one another, half-dry and basking in what feels like an afterglow, despite no sexual contact preceding it. 

initially, jaehyun had been a little reluctant to lie on the other’s bed while still thoroughly soaked, but johnny had assured him he was due to change his sheets sooner or later anyway, and that he didn’t mind if they got a little wet. of course, that only made jaehyun think about all of the _other_ things they could do on these sheets, but he doesn’t speak on that at the moment — they hadn’t even addressed what they’d just done outside, at least not formally, and while jaehyun doesn’t want to rush anything, either, his mind is reeling with thoughts surrounding what the rest of the night may entail, and what it means for their relationship moving forward. to top it all off, johnny’s distinct scent on the hoodie he’d leant jaehyun after they’d gotten most of the water soaked up surely isn’t helping the hormones stirring in his brain. 

yet, he’s comfortable like this, too. just lying beside the other man, feeling his warmth and his presence alone. though his thoughts are racing at speeds incomprehensible and immeasurable, his body is content, resting in johnny’s bed, in johnny’s clothes, with johnny right by his side. 

“hey, jaehyun?” johnny starts, immediately capturing the younger man’s attention. 

jaehyun turns slightly on his side to look at him, murmuring a soft ‘hmm?’ to show that he’s listening. 

“you’re shivering,” the older man tells him, looking as though he’s trying (and failing) to bite back a smile. “you cold?”

he really hadn’t even noticed. he’d felt so content and comfortable lying here that he hadn’t even registered the fact that his body is, indeed, shaking like a leaf due to the wet chill the rain had left him with, even if he’s mostly dry by now. goosebumps line the otherwise smooth skin of his limbs, and now that he thinks about it, he really does feel quite chilly, and the fact that johnny and taeyong’s room is just about blasting the air conditioning through the vents does little to combat this. “yeah, a little,” jaehyun murmurs with an embarrassed chuckle, rubbing at his arms beneath the towel, “it might be time to switch out this towel for a blanket.”

“mm,” johnny hums affirmatively, sitting up and pulling his own towel from around his beautifully broad shoulders. he’s wearing a sleeveless shirt, and jaehyun gathers every ounce of strength he can muster to not ogle his friend’s deliciously muscled arms, nor the way his shirt clings tightly to his chest when he moves, exposing its bulging shape — but needless to say, he doesn’t do that great of a job. 

he’s so entranced by johnny’s powerful shape that it startles him a little when the other man reaches out to pull jaehyun’s own towel away, but he quickly relaxes to ease the other man’s likely concern that he had touched him in a way that made him uncomfortable, or something along those lines. jaehyun feels even colder now that the towel is gone and especially now that johnny has gotten up from the bed, and he shivers once again, tucking his arms against his own chest as he waits for the other man to finish setting the towels aside to dry, likely to be washed later on. 

when johnny returns to him, he pauses a moment to look at his trembling best friend, giving him an unreadable, yet soft look. chuckling, the older man pulls up the covers and gestures for the younger man to join him underneath. jaehyun doesn’t hesitate; doesn’t wait a second to fit himself comfortably against johnny, sighing with discernable satisfaction at how pleasant it feels to be secured under layers of warmth, and pressed to a solid frame. he _feels_ johnny giggle at him more than he hears it, but he doesn’t get too embarrassed by the unspoken teasing this time, as he’s awfully content to be swaddled in his best friend’s strong arms. nothing could ruin the moment, jaehyun thinks; he _missed this,_ so much. 

never would he say it aloud, but the fact that johnny is one of the only members of their group and one of the only men he knows that is bigger and stronger than him, that can really make him feel small and dainty — _jaehyun loves it._ it’s something he wouldn’t have expected himself to enjoy, either; he was quite taken aback when they first met, as often he’s used to looking down at people he meets to maintain eye contact. but he had to look up at johnny, and considering they were so young back then, they’ve both grown in ways both including and beyond their physicality. but johnny has always been and always will be jaehyun’s perfect big spoon; the one man that can carry him around effortlessly, lift and spin him when they hug and cover him completely with his embrace. it’s so … comforting, most times. but others, it left jaehyun with this underlying thrill, a flickering flame in his stomach, wondering what it would be like to be manhandled by his best friend in a context exceeding just roughhousing for fun.

“hey, jaehyun …” the other’s soft voice feels resonant in the dark room, his breath tickling jaehyun’s nape in a warm breeze, “you still cold?”

though he’s stopped shivering, goosebumps have remained in certain places; but jaehyun doesn’t know if that’s related to the weather or the fact that he’s so close to the object of his affections, and currently entertaining less-than-modest thoughts about him, in the wake of all they had done tonight. nevertheless, he knows how to answer; he doesn’t want to risk johnny moving away from him even a nanometer. “y-yeah … this is definitely helping, though …” there’s a soft laugh threaded into his voice, but he bites his lip as he feels johnny’s groin press to his backside, his leg curling around jaehyun’s own and the soft fabric of his pajama pants kissing the smooth skin of the younger’s bare legs.

“i think i know something that can help even more …” says johnny, voice low as he speaks those words right into jaehyun’s blushing ear. it’s dark, but jaehyun knows he can feel how warm it is. 

“mm …” jaehyun nearly whimpers, breath hitching when he feels a hand slipping underneath the hoodie, rubbing against his bare abs, “what is it, hyung …?”

johnny doesn’t answer. at least, not with his voice; the soft lips and tongue pressing to jaehyun’s neck answer him more efficiently than any words could. it’s different from the kiss they’d shared on the terrace, too; there’s nothing chaste or gentle about it, nothing cutely hesitant or mild with unsurety. the older man’s lips burn searing kisses along jaehyun’s sensitive neck, sure and confident and clearly insistent on drawing a reaction out of him as they scale higher and higher. though there’s a certain hunger to his actions, johnny takes his time as he makes his way up jaehyun’s bobbing throat, pausing only to lick along the smooth lines of the muscles there, tasting the younger man’s soft skin. 

jaehyun moans, honestly unable to stop himself by the time johnny reaches the junction of his neck and jaw. strong, warm hands hold him firm from beneath the borrowed hoodie, and jaehyun whimpers, leaning his head back and twisting his body just enough to brush his lips against johnny’s, drawing him into a heated kiss. the hands brushing against his stomach caress their way up to play with unbelievably sensitive nipples, and jaehyun is writhing at the touch, arching his back and pushing his chest into johnny’s hands more, while simultaneously rubbing his ass up against johnny’s crotch, where something is definitely stirring to life. 

their tongues brush eagerly, curling ’round each other like they’re making a series of heartfelt promises, even if the moans they’re spilling into each other’s mouths are far from pure and sweet in nature. johnny’s fingers pinch and tweak jaehyun’s pebbled nipples with growing interest, as he seems to have caught onto just how tender and sensitive they are — it’s more than obvious, though, with how quickly jaehyun’s composure is falling apart the longer he plays with them. he spreads his hands along jaehyun’s chest, rubbing the pads of his index fingers back and forth over the little buds, and jaehyun whines, squirming in johnny’s arms. johnny only smiles, pressing his body tighter against jaehyun to keep him still, and pushing his growing, throbbing erection harder against the younger’s ass in the process. 

“oh, hyung …” jaehyun sighs, lips gorgeously bruised and numb from the intensity of their kiss. he doesn’t stop, though; johnny is licking his way into jaehyun’s mouth again after half a breather, and jaehyun is moaning through it, hardly able to focus on the kiss when his nipples are being toyed with so diligently. his cock is hard and straining between his thighs, and he’s rubbing his ass back against the taller man, quickly becoming addicted to the feeling of johnny’s hard, thick cock dragging between his cheeks. he can feel it through both of their clothes and it makes him delirious with need, aching to have it inside of him by the end of the night. “hyung, please …” whines jaehyun, voice low and airy against johnny’s lips, “it’s … it’s not enough …”

that seems to flip some kind of switch in johnny. all this time, they’d been toeing the line, getting heated but not _too much so,_ in case either of them wanted to turn back and pretend this never happened; pretend none of tonight _ever happened._ but that’s evidently not on either of their agendas, and jaehyun’s confirmation is all johnny needs to take the plunging dive past the point of no return. 

he sits up, rolling jaehyun over until he’s completely on his back, and climbs on top of him like clockwork, not wasting a second to establish the new position. with hazy, lust-clouded eyes, jaehyun watches johnny wrench his own shirt off, tossing it like useless scrap fabric and baring his upper half to the younger man, who shamelessly ogles the rare image of a shirtless johnny. from his bulging pectorals and chiseled abdomen to his powerfully muscled arms, jaehyun nearly drools at the sight, impossibly amplified by the way the moonlight clings to every curve, and his cock definitely twitches in his shorts. 

wanting to even the playing field, jaehyun’s hands are pulling up the hoodie masking his own body from view, sighing as the cozy fabric uncovers defined muscles and soft skin, but johnny grabs ahold of his wrist, stopping him. their eyes meet, the younger offering an astonished, wide-eyed stare and the older looking down at him with authoritative and certain eyes. 

“keep it on,” he says, less than a command but more than a suggestion, “want to see you in my clothes.” 

pink in the face, jaehyun nods, letting go of the soft brown fabric, feeling it drop onto his half-exposed stomach. johnny slowly pushes it up a little more, until it’s hooked behind the protrusion of jaehyun’s chest, revealing his bright pink nipples and the way his blush travels down his whole body in a flawless gradient of roses. 

“fuck,” johnny sighs out, lowering himself on top of jaehyun and looking him in the eye intensely, “you are so goddamn beautiful.”

biting his lip, jaehyun stares up at the other man through his eyelashes. “so are you,” he murmurs, trailing his hands down johnny’s chest, squeezing a little just to feel how firm it is. johnny chuckles at that, leaning in to kiss jaehyun once again, letting the younger touch him however he pleases. 

it’s an invitation jaehyun does not pass up in the slightest. his hands roam all over johnny’s body, just as johnny’s hands do with his, and he moans like a horny teenager at how perfect it feels to touch and be touched by the man that’s been driving him insane for god knows how long. he reaches down to grab johnny’s plump ass through his sweatpants, moving his hand back and forth to feel the way it jiggles, somewhat subconsciously rolling his hips up to meet the other man’s downward gyrating. 

it’s when they both grope at each other’s cocks that electricity stuns jaehyun for half a second. he whimpers, pulsing in johnny’s massive hand as it closes around the bulge in his shorts, begging to be free. meanwhile, he can feel the absolute monster trapped in johnny’s sweatpants, and he wants more than anything for it to be inside of him somehow, _anyhow._

“ah …” jaehyun whimpers as johnny tugs the waistband of his shorts and briefs down in a single fluid motion, exposing the younger’s hard cock to the cool air in the room. it bobs attractively in the lowlight; stiff, slightly curved, and a soft pink colour, with pearly beads of precum clinging to the slit and cascading down the head. 

“even your dick is pretty,” the older murmurs, seemingly in disbelief, “look at you … seriously, i think this is the most beautiful dick i’ve ever seen. and you’re so hard already.” 

though he’d been blushing quite intensely before, jaehyun is sure his face is on fire by now. he ignores the compliment, mostly because he isn’t sure how to respond, and instead elects to reach out to yank johnny’s pants down, trapping the waistband around his deliciously thick thighs and the swell of his ass, which is especially easy when he’s slightly spread to straddle the younger like he is now. jaehyun pauses, mesmerized by the way the other’s half-hard cock bobs upon its freedom from confinement, and the way it just … _sits there,_ huge and heavy and fucking _gorgeous._

“holy shit …” jaehyun says softly, only able to stare at the behemoth between his best friend’s legs. they’d seen each other naked before in passing; they used to share a room, after all — so jaehyun somewhat knew what to expect. but he’d never seen it up close, never really stopped to stare at it and notice that johnny isn’t just above-average or packing something proportionally large to his body, but he’s _hung_ — like, frighteningly hung. jaehyun knows that he’s got a pretty large endowment himself, but he’s never seen anything like this outside of the outrageous porn videos he’d watch as a ridiculously horny trainee. it only turns jaehyun on even more, though, were such a thing even possible at this point. he’s fully prepared to be split down the middle like an oreo. “that’s — holy _shit,_ hyung.”

johnny blushes. he actually blushes. it’s a rare sight to come by, but when it happens, jaehyun thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world, and now is no different, even if he’s so aroused he feels like a ticking time bomb. “look, i know it’s — you don’t have to — i’m not expecting you to ... _take it,_ if you don’t think you can —”

 _“i can,”_ jaehyun says, more than insistently, “how big is it? do you know?”

“i mean … i’ve never, like, _measured it,_ if that’s what you’re asking. but if i had to guess, i’d say … maybe 25 centimeters, fully hard?”

“oh god, johnny …” the younger reaches out, wrapping his hand around the base and giving the other man’s dick a good few tugs. he’s still not fully erect, but jaehyun thinks he can change that in a matter of moments as he strokes him firm but loose, flicking his wrist on the upstroke and feeling the way the shaft pulses, like it’s got its own heartbeat. he hears johnny sigh, flexing his hips forward a little bit in pursuit of that glorious friction on his cock.

the older man reaches down, then, closing his hand around jaehyun’s cock and stroking him at the same even pace, making the younger moan. they remain that way for a while, jacking each other off and kissing languidly all the while, time completely lost to them as they enjoy each other’s touch and company. soon enough, though, jaehyun’s mouth starts to water, and he knows what he really wants. he breaks the kiss with a whimper, starting to slide his way down the bed until his face is near enough to johnny’s cock, eyes trained on it like it’s the sole work of art in an illustrious gallery. 

“jaehyun …” johnny whispers, but anything else he’d planned to say is drowned out by his own low groan when jaehyun starts to lick at the tip, circling it with his tongue like his life depends on it. the younger moans, sliding his hands up johnny’s thighs and enstating a sturdy enough grip to keep either of them from moving too much, easing the slide of the velvety skin against his voracious tongue. meanwhile, johnny moves his knee so that it frames jaehyun’s head, tickled faintly by his soft hair, and spreading his thighs as much as he can with his pants still clinging to his legs, wanting to give his beloved ample space to work his magic. 

taking the hint, jaehyun tugs johnny’s pants further down and as out of the way as he can, though he doesn’t take his mouth away from the man’s cock for even a second. he peels back the foreskin and flicks little kitten-licks beneath the sensitive head, purring with pleasure when he feels johnny throb against his mouth, completely hard by now, and ready to be buried inside the smaller man’s tight throat. he notices as he licks into the slit that johnny’s precum is rather tart to the taste, but he doesn’t mind at all, lapping up the other man’s essence as though it’s a healing elixir, and he’s been torn apart by endless yearning. 

“jesus, babe …” johnny moans, reaching down to comb his blunt nails through jaehyun’s thick, soft hair, “that feels so good …”

jaehyun’s heart skips a beat when johnny calls him ‘babe’, though he tries to remind himself that it could just be a result of what he’s doing to him, rather than a freudian slip indicating any sincerity. there’s an ache in his chest — he wants this _so bad,_ and has wanted it for _so long,_ but he and johnny still have not discussed where they stand with one another; if this is just a night of unexpected passion between two friends, or the start of something more. he hopes with all his heart that it’s the latter, but until he can be certain what this night will mean in the long run, he opts to enjoy every single moment to the fullest, even if it means he has to shut parts of his brain off to do so. 

still, if johnny plans on walking away from this like nothing happened, jaehyun is going to make it hard for him by doing his damnedest to be the best he’s ever had.

parting his lips, the younger man takes just the tip into his mouth, sucking lightly on it and keeping his tongue flush to the tender skin. he lets his eyes flutter closed for a moment, taking in the fact that this is really happening, that they’re really doing this, before he moans softly and raises his head to take about half of johnny’s length into his mouth. the other is already brushing against the back of his throat, so jaehyun keeps himself relaxed and pliant and slick, repressing his gag reflex as johnny sinks deeper and deeper down his gullet. he hears his best friend moan his name, evidently trying with all his might to hold himself back from bucking wildly; jaehyun can tell by the twitch of his hips, the way it slides him in further about half a centimeter, despite his best efforts. he just keeps him there, swallowing around his dick and letting his throat contract and expand around him as he pleases, moans vibrating low in his throat and eliciting little shivers from johnny. 

when he’s finally ready, jaehyun swallows down as much of johnny as he can, taking him so far down his throat that he feels like he’s going to choke, but it only thrills him more. he concentrates on breathing through his nose, opening his eyes to look up at the man he wishes he could call his lover, only to find that johnny is already looking down at him, irises darting back and forth between jaehyun’s now-open eyes and his spread, bruised lips. 

“oh, fuck …” johnny moans, biting his lip as jaehyun starts to bob his head, producing lewd, wet sounds as the older man’s cock slides in and out of the depths of jaehyun’s throat. he can feel it bulge when the other is nearly entirely sheathed, and it makes the younger’s adam’s apple quiver and his throat constrict every now and then, but he doesn’t even think to quit. there’s no way he can get johnny all the way down, but he’ll take him as far as he physically can, and make up for the rest with his hands, which press inward to toy with the older’s weighty sack and stroke the fraction of his thick cock he can’t get down. johnny keeps moaning above him, unashamed of his pleasure, and it sends little shockwaves of arousal through jaehyun’s body, especially when combined with the filthy sound of his cock jamming into his throat, and the younger’s own choked sounds of pleasure. 

one of jaehyun’s hands veers backward toward johnny’s ass and takes hold of one of the round globes, squeezing it tight as he urges johnny to thrust forward into his mouth, complementing the movements of jaehyun’s head as he continues to take him in and out. he seems hesitant at first, but johnny quickly succumbs to the wet, tight pleasure that comes with jaehyun’s insistence, and soon he’s rocking his hips at a forceful pace, shoving his cock in even deeper as jaehyun raises up to gulp him down. both of them moan wantonly at the system they’ve established, and soon their paces increase in tandem, until johnny is full on fucking his mouth and jaehyun is choking on him more frequently, but showing no signs of complaint — on the contrary, he whines exigently in response to the abuse of his throat, and johnny’s worries appear to have checked out as he obliges him readily. 

the older man releases a long, guttural groan as the tip of his dick presses deep inside of jaehyun for the umpteenth time, and he pulses at the same time his friend chokes, resulting in a delicious sensation. “ah, jaehyun …” he sighs, biting into his plush lower lip once again, and locking eyes with the man beneath him, “fuck, baby, you’re gonna make me cum.”

jaehyun whines, very slowly pulling off and taking a moment to heave for adequate oxygen. “not yet,” he implores, voice completely wrecked as he strokes the other wetly, “johnny, fuck me, please.”

licking his lips, a movement jaehyun’s eyes follow intently, johnny nods his accordance. “okay,” he answers, removing his fingers from jaehyun’s hair to rub at the other’s bruised lower lip, watching him in what seems to be awe. “i really couldn’t say no to that, even if i hadn’t been wanting this for years.” he laughs a little, but jaehyun just stares up at him with wide, dumbly blinking eyes, unable to believe what the other had just said.

“what?” he asks, scrambling to sit up properly, and extremely conscious of the way his hard and leaking dick just flings freely around with his jerking to get into a sitting position. there’s a mess of precum all over his bare lap, now, but he disregards it, focusing on what’s important. “years?”

again, johnny bites his lip, but in an entirely different way (though no less attractive than the others) as he looks somewhat anxious. “i … uh. yeah. years,” he confirms, raising a hand to scratch at the back of his head, “i’ve kind of … had feelings for you since like … 2016, i want to say? i don’t know, i haven’t exactly been keeping track. but, you know, we’ve been getting so much closer since we’ve been doing ennana, and i honestly thought you knew, because i suck at being subtle —”

“johnny,” jaehyun interrupts, raising his hands to cup either of the older man’s cheeks, nearly squishing them in his tenacity, “i’m in love with you.” 

golden brown eyes go wide as the taller man looks back at jaehyun, sparkling with layers and layers of emotions that come rushing in all at once. the room is silent aside from the persisting rain beyond the window, and their heavy breaths born of both anxiety and the exertion of what they’d been doing just moments prior. his cheeks heat up, jaehyun can feel it under his hands, and he knows his own face is likely bright pink as he looks at johnny, increasingly conscious of the way his heart is pounding like an 808 drum in his chest. 

it’s true, he told the truth, and though it had only been after acquiring the security that came with johnny confessing first, he still feels unbelievably anxious, as if anything could go wrong at this point. the entirety of their friendship flashes before jaehyun’s eyes, and there are so many little things that he had noticed, but written off as typical or explained away by his friend’s overly-affectionate nature. but due to fear, he hadn’t allowed himself to consider that even then, there was clearly something special about them; about the way they treated each other, the way they communicate, the way they just _are_ , together. it’s love, it’s always been love. it always will be.

“i’m in love with you, too,” he whines the words out, and jaehyun giggles, full of relief and mirth, feeling lighter than air now that the weight of his affections have been cleared from his chest, and released into the atmosphere like a million balloons. johnny loves him. _johnny loves him._

their lips collide in a frantic kiss; jaehyun’s fingers tangle in johnny’s hair and johnny’s arms cage him by the waist in a powerful embrace. they fall back against the bed, jaehyun’s legs hooking around the other’s hips and lower back, a hand slithering down his back to grasp at his shoulder as their lips and tongues flit madly, conveying along with their soft moans every emotion that penetrates beyond the capability and reach of any words of any language they know. 

it isn’t clear who pulls away, but they’re looking into each other’s eyes when it’s over, both intensity and tenderness locking their gazes together with an undeniable magnetism. jaehyun is the first to speak, his eyes hazy with some dreamy concoction of love and lust, his low voice just the same. “please, hyung …” he murmurs, moaning thickly in his throat when johnny leans in to start kissing at his neck again, sucking just below his ear, “if you really love me, show me how much. you waited this long …” 

johnny purrs into jaehyun’s ear, delighting in the way the younger man shivers. “i don’t need to fuck you to show you how much i love you, baby,” he tells him in english, voice so attractively low and undaunted, “but since you asked so nicely … i wouldn’t mind showing you what i’ve been having wet dreams about, for the past two years.”

“yes,” jaehyun sighs out, letting his head fall back to allow johnny easier access to his sensitive flesh, “please …”

the younger whines when johnny pulls away, barely quelled with a quick kiss and a whispered promise of ‘one sec’ as the older makes his way off the bed. johnny shucks his pants and underwear off and rushes over to taeyong’s side of the room, rummaging indiscreetly through the leader’s drawers and cursing under his breath, evidently struggling to find whatever it is he’s looking for. when he wrenches open the last drawer, jaehyun hears a triumphant ‘aha!’, and he can’t help but sit up on his elbows to see what exactly the other man is doing. he doesn’t have to wonder for long, for johnny returns to his side with a bottle of lube. he briefly goes into his own drawer to retrieve a condom that will actually fit him prior to climbing back onto the bed.

jaehyun blushes, averting his gaze momentarily. “i hope you didn’t disorganize any of taeyong hyung’s things.”

johnny only shrugs, uncapping the bottle, “he won’t notice.”

before he can argue that taeyong will _absolutely_ notice, jaehyun finds himself entranced by johnny’s fingers, and the way he works the lube over them, warming it up and getting his long, pretty digits coated enough to enter jaehyun’s quivering hole. the younger discards of his shorts and underwear completely, sinking lower against johnny’s pillows and holding his breath as he spreads himself, revealing the tiny pink pucker between his milky cheeks. he blushes at being so exposed, but the arousal coursing through him diminishes any shame or embarrassment he’d feel otherwise, as he’s willing to do pretty much anything at this point to feel johnny inside of him. 

“i’m about to put in the first one,” says the older man, tongue tracing over his lips as he unabashedly eyes jaehyun’s hole, “ready?”

he can only hum affirmatively and pair it with an eager nod of his head, as words have evaded him for the time being. his breath quivers when he feels johnny’s clean hand on one of his thighs, pushing it up to expose him even more, putting a bit more tension on his entrance, which starts to flutter in anticipation. 

“relax, baby,” johnny says softly, circling jaehyun’s rim with the pad of his index.

jaehyun whimpers, but he does his best to grant johnny’s request. he closes his eyes, sighing as the finger continues to draw spirals around his most sensitive area, and drags up and down along his perineum. finally, he feels johnny start to apply pressure, building and building and building against his hole, pushing harder and harder until the little ring opens up enough to suck him in to the first knuckle, thanks to the ample lubricant. jaehyun gasps, throwing his head back against the pillows as johnny’s finger slides inside of him and caresses his walls. he tenses for just a second before remembering to relax, steadying his breaths to the best of his ability as the older begins pumping the finger in and out of him, rotating his wrist and thrusting it in deeper. 

“has it been a while?” asks johnny, drawing tiny circles with his index inside of jaehyun. 

the younger nods, opening his eyes and biting his lip. “i couldn’t do that to anyone … i’d just imagine they were you the whole time, and it wouldn’t be enough.”

johnny chuckles, rubbing his tongue against the corner of his lips. “my, my. i’m flattered. i’ve had the same problem, if you can believe that.” he thrusts his finger into jaehyun a few more times, pleased to see his entrance opening up with his efforts. before he thinks to add a second, however, he addresses his friend turned lover once more. “can you turn over for me and get on your hands and knees, baby? i think it’d make this a little easier for you.”

in a display of eager obedience, jaehyun nods, though he whines when johnny pulls his finger out of him. nevertheless, he twists himself around and raises up on his hands and knees, back arched just slightly so that his hips are raised. his cock dangles heavily between his spread thighs, twitching as the cold air of the room blows over his most tender areas. 

“perfect,” johnny coos, stroking lightly over jaehyun’s ass, “well … almost. i wish i could see your face, but this’ll do for now.” soon thereafter, johnny continues with the task at hand, inserting two fingers this time and plunging them deep into jaehyun’s heat. from this angle, he strokes over the younger’s prostate with ease when he pushes in deep enough, and jaehyun yelps, burying his face into the pillows and throwing his hips back more, clearly wanting to feel that sensation again. chuckling, johnny gives it to him a few more times, pressing into that little nerve bundle with his fingertips and making jaehyun squirm, watching the younger’s cock bob and leak prettily. 

“another,” jaehyun moans out, lifting his head so that the pillows don’t muffle his pleasure-slurred words, “add another one, please, hyung.”

“don’t be impatient,” johnny warns, but he does what jaehyun asks, either way. 

the third finger is a tight squeeze, but it joins the others without much an issue, widening jaehyun’s hole substantially more. johnny spreads his fingers inside of jaehyun and pushes them in deep, making sure to stretch his channel as much as he can with the amount of fingers he’s working with. there’s a tiny bit of discomfort at first, but jaehyun doesn’t mind it; it melts away into pleasure soon enough once johnny starts knocking at his prostate again, playing his body like an instrument. 

“god, jaehyun,” johnny whispers, the admiration clear in his voice, “you’re so beautiful. all of you is a work of art.”

he can only whine in response to the heartfelt compliment, because johnny’s adding a _fourth_ finger, and jaehyun is standing on the edge of his sanity. it’s for the best, considering his lover’s size, but jaehyun doesn’t know if any amount of fingers will help him when it comes to taking johnny’s cock. he moans as his prostate is being stimulated again, rocking back onto johnny’s hand and feeling a jolt of pleasure skate up his spine when the other’s longest finger jabs into it especially hard. “fuck, hyung,” jaehyun moans out, thighs trembling, “i’m gonna cum soon. put it in, please, i need to cum on your cock …”

“shit, babe …” johnny says lowly, mesmerized by the sight of his fingers sinking in and out of jaehyun’s hole, and knowing it’s gonna be something _else,_ soon. “you’re so hot … just relax for me baby, okay? you really need to relax, i don’t want to hurt you.”

 _i don’t care if i fucking die on your cock,_ jaehyun thinks, but even in his lust-dumb brain, he knows better than to say something like that out loud. he just nods, making his finest attempt to breathe evenly as johnny carefully pulls his fingers out, leaving his hole empty and open, sensitive to the cool air. he whines, lowering his head and shutting his eyes, focusing on the sounds of the rain, but still able to hear johnny tearing open the condom, and squirting out a generous amount of lube. he takes a deep breath, biting his lip as he stays completely still, both elated and terrified of what’s about to happen. it’s the most _thrilling_ feeling in the world.

“oh …” jaehyun sighs, voice feeling high and foreign in his own throat. johnny’s cock has started to circle his dilated rim, the bit of coldness from the lube and the condom a shock to jaehyun’s sweltering skin. johnny’s hands hold his cheeks open, spreading him effectively and making it easier for his cock to press up against jaehyun’s hole as he rubs it up and down over the quavering orifice. just when jaehyun thinks he’s about to break, just when he fixes his reddened lips to complain, johnny starts to sink inside of him, and his voice only leaves him in a warbled moan, much too loud for two groupmates having sex in their dorm, while the other members are present. 

johnny doesn’t reprimand him, though, because he’s too busy moaning himself, teeth pinching tightly into his lower lip in an attempt to hush his guttural sounds, result of the divine feeling of jaehyun’s tight heat wrapped around his cock. 

it actually is a little painful, but it’s a numbing, gratifying kind of pain — his lower half feels like it’s being split open, but jaehyun _likes it._ he’s trembling hard, gripping tightly onto the sheets as johnny just _keeps_ entering him, like his dick never ends, and jaehyun briefly, deliriously concerns that he will run out of space to take him if johnny keeps going. he feels the older man in his stomach, nestled against his navel, and it’s an inebriating sensation, like his entire body clasps around johnny and plans to fuse them for all eternity, making them one until the end of time. 

he does stop eventually, though. he stops, and he’s holding onto jaehyun by the hips, seemingly making sure he doesn’t even consider moving. “are you okay?” johnny asks, breaths heavy, like he’s employing every cell in his body to restrain himself. jaehyun tries to nod, but johnny won’t accept it, asking him again and annexing a, “words, jaehyunah.”

“i’m … okay,” jaehyun breathes out, “i’m okay. you’re just. _fuck,_ you’re so big.” 

“just give it a moment, baby,” says johnny, stroking a hand affectionately through jaehyun’s hair, and leaning forward to place a kiss on his temple, “i won’t move until you’re ready.”

in all honesty, jaehyun thinks he could stay like this forever. he feels so full, so _complete,_ even if his guts might be ruined by the end of this. he doesn’t care. he wants this now, and later, and _forever;_ wants it until his body gets used to taking johnny’s huge cock and he can do it without breaking a sweat. there’s something beautiful about this, though; their first time together, the perfect balance of rough and gentle, lustful and loving. it’s everything he’s dreamed of, tucked away in his bed at night, wishing the other man was beside him. at last, jaehyun flexes his hips a little, just to test the waters, and it feels okay. he can do this. 

“ah, hyung …” he whimpers, raising his head to look back at johnny, “move, please move. i’m ready.”

with a nod, johnny sits up and reestablishes his grip on jaehyun’s hips, pressing his thumbs into the younger man’s soft cheeks and eyeing the way his dick is swallowed up by jaehyun’s hole. it looks as beautiful as it feels. he keeps watching as he gently pulls his hips back, admiring how jaehyun’s rim clings to his shaft, like it doesn’t want to let him go. he only pulls out halfway before thrusting back in, and jaehyun cries out, registering the effortless jab to his prostate immediately. fuck, he is not going to last like this. 

johnny keeps at it, gradually pulling out a little more each time, and rocking back in just a little faster. the drag against jaehyun’s walls is so sweet, and he can feel himself pushing up against the younger’s stomach, filling him up more than he’d ever been filled before. he keeps a steady pace, and jaehyun moans his way through it, lurching forward with every inward thrust, like he’s lost complete control over his body, like he gave it all up to johnny. 

“oh, god …” jaehyun whines, feeling the bed start to rock when johnny goes faster. his thrusts are so deep, setting all of jaehyun’s nerve endings ablaze as he fucks him so thoroughly, dragging through his body like he owns it. maybe he does. jaehyun had never felt this good, never felt a man so deep inside of him before, literally fucking his soul out of his body. he can feel all twenty-five centimeters of johnny’s shaft thrusting through him, the way his thick, long cock forces his hole open and drags against the tightness of jaehyun’s body, pounding in and out of him like it’s his job. “fuck, johnny, _yes_ — harder, faster, please — _fuck me.”_

interrupted by his own moan, jaehyun jolts when johnny follows through on his babbled requests, pistoning his hips into the younger man harder and faster, and _deeper,_ giving him every last bit of his length. jaehyun throws his hips back as best he can, lost in the sounds of their skin making harsh, wet contact and breathy moans filling the room as johnny’s dick slams into him, the sounds of the pouring rain almost drowned out completely by their pleasure. 

jaehyun starts to clench around johnny, and johnny takes the hint that he won’t last much longer. gradually, _reluctantly,_ he slows his hips to a stop, which is immediately met by an indignant whine from jaehyun. 

“shh,” johnny coos at him, “turn over, baby. i told you i wanted to see your face.”

the younger doesn’t waste any time, quickly flipping over onto his back as johnny pulls out of him. he spreads his legs, completely devoid of shame in a way that johnny finds beyond sexy, and the older man is quick to give jaehyun what he wants, _what they both want,_ sliding back into him immediately. 

jaehyun raises his hips and johnny pulls them up higher, effectively folding jaehyun in half as he picks back up with his brutal pace, fucking into him hard and deep. the younger moans, nails scrabbling at the sheets as johnny aims for his prostate, pounding into him relentlessly. from this angle, they can both see where johnny’s cock bulges against jaehyun’s navel when he pushes all the way in, and it makes johnny groan and jaehyun whimper, wishing there wasn’t a condom between them so he could feel every last drop of his lover’s impending orgasm. _next time,_ he thinks. 

for now, he can feel his own climax speeding toward him, coming nearer and nearer as johnny repeatedly hits his prostate. his moans climb in pitch and he starts to clench around his lover’s pulsing shaft once again, and he doesn’t even need to say anything, apparently, because johnny reaches for jaehyun’s red, weeping cock and starts to stroke him vigorously. 

“ah!” jaehyun cries, throwing his head back and arching up, slipping his hands under the hoodie to play with his nipples, “oh, oh fuck, oh — johnny, john … hyung, i’m cumming, i’m _cumming!”_

“yeah, babe,” johnny moans, not slowing his thrusts for a second, “that’s it, cum for me.”

his vision goes white, eyes rolling back into his head and lips parted in a half-silent scream as jaehyun achieves his orgasm. his cock spurts all over his abs, some splashes even reaching up to his chest and the hoodie, thanks to the steep angle at which johnny is holding him. he whimpers through the aftershocks, cock squirting out increasingly clear liquid pathetically as johnny keeps fucking him, groaning low as jaehyun’s hole clenches tight around him, squeezing his shaft harder than before, refusing to let him go without a fight. 

at that, johnny is cumming, too; deep, strong waves pulsing through his cock and emptying into the condom. jaehyun can feel all of it, and he goes completely limp when it comes to an end, body slumping heavy against the bed as if all his strength had left through his cock. there’s absolute silence in the room, disregarding their heavy breathing, and somewhere in the back of his mind, jaehyun notices that it’s still raining outside.

jaehyun doesn’t know how much time has passed by the time johnny pulls out, and rolls off of him. they lay side by side in a comfortable quiet, taking in everything that had just happened. the younger turns his head to look once he hears and feels johnny starting to move, and he realizes he’s peeling the condom off, throwing it away into the garbage bin near where the beds are situated. he rises after that, grabbing one of the towels, still slightly damp with rain water, and uses it to clean the cum off of both of them, working the soft fabric into jaehyun’s abs and tossing it carelessly onto the floor afterward. 

“did you mean it?” jaehyun finds himself asking, looking at johnny with soft eyes. 

johnny blinks at him, evidently confused. “did i mean what?”

“that you love me,” he murmurs, still not moving from where he’s lying against the pillows, though mostly due to being completely spent, “that you’re in love with me.”

the older man tilts his head, giving his best friend a soft smile. “have i ever told you something that serious and not meant it? of course i did, jaehyun. i love you.” 

his voice is so soft that jaehyun has no choice to believe him — not that he would have doubted him this far, anyway. he smiles back, dimples and all, and laughs softly as he leans his head back against johnny’s pillows, baring his neck as he does so. “i’ve been trying to ignore my feelings for months, since doyoung hyung made me confront them … i don’t know what i was thinking, to be honest. i was nervous, and scared of losing our friendship, but … honestly, if i can’t tell you something, there’s no one in the world i can tell. that should have been enough. i wasted so much time …”

“hey,” johnny says, leaning over jaehyun so that their eyes meet. he brushes his fingers softly through the younger’s hair, noticing the way that moisture clings to his eyes, even in the darkness. he hadn’t seen jaehyun cry in a long time, and even those few times that he had, the younger always did whatever he could to hide it, to bury any evidence of his vulnerability. but now, he just lies there, evidently trying to suspend his tears, but nothing beyond that. “it’s not entirely on you. i kept my feelings to myself for a long time, too, because i was worried about the same things. but if there’s anything i’ve learned in life, it’s that the people who are meant to be in your life will be there, no matter what. so even if i told you, and you didn’t feel the same way … i knew i wouldn’t lose you. the rest of it was just me trying to find the right moment. ideally, i was going to take you out on a really romantic date, but … i guess there was a slight change of plans.”

jaehyun laughs, and his smile reaches his eyes, which in turn force a few tears down his cheeks. johnny laughs, too, and brushes them away with his thumb. his own eyes are wet, jaehyun notes, and he takes hold of the older man’s face, pulling him down for a soft kiss. “you can still take me out on a really romantic date,” he says, eliciting more giggles from both of them, “but i wouldn’t change anything about tonight. it’s a memory i’ll have with me, always.”

“me too, jaehyunah …” johnny presses their foreheads together, giving a tiny sigh. “i love you.”

“i know,” jaehyun replies, voice a whisper meant only for the two of them; not even for the rain that taps against the window. “i love you, too, johnny.” 

♡

_august, 2020._

“johnny hyuuuuung,” the high voice sing-songs from behind the door, and as expected, lee donghyuck makes his way into the room he shares with the man he’s been calling after. 

he looks up at the sound of his name, plucking his airpods out and turning away from his laptop as his roommate comes bounding up to him. “what is it, hyuckah?”

“i wrote a poem for renjunnie,” says the smaller man, climbing up onto johnny’s bed and perching himself beside him, “i need you to look at it to make sure it isn’t bad before i read it to him. it’s our anniversary tomorrow, and i wanted to do something special for him.”

johnny chuckles, ever so amused by donghyuck’s antics. their age difference defines their sibling-like dynamic pretty well, but donghyuck falls into the role of a little brother so easily, and though johnny had never had any siblings, he’s always wanted a younger brother like his groupmate. “has it been a year already?” he asks, taking the phone that had been offered to him, and noticing that it’s more than just a juvenile haiku, or some godforsaken acrostic he wouldn’t know how to tell the younger is very cringey. what he sees is a well-written and rather lengthy piece of work that had clearly taken the other some time, and something sentimental squeezes johnny’s heart, even if the poem isn’t meant for him at all. romantic things always tend to get a reaction out of him, so he shouldn’t be surprised, and neither should donghyuck. 

“yeah, it’ll be a year tomorrow. at 5:13pm to be exact.”

“i guess that’s one of the benefits of asking someone to date you through katalk,” teases johnny, and donghyuck huffs at him. 

“will you just read it, hyung? i didn’t ask for all of this extra commentary.”

“alright, alright,” johnny lets up, leaning back against his headboard to comfortably read what his groupmate had written. he keeps a straight face the entire time, which is far from easy, since the poem is so heartfelt and cute, but he knows donghyuck is watching him closely and waiting for a reaction, and he genuinely cannot resist the urge to tease the younger man. when he reaches the end, he lowers the phone and blinks at donghyuck, who blinks expectantly at him, showing a bit of nervousness in his eyes. 

“so?” he asks, chewing his lower lip, “what did you think, hyung?”

“well …” johnny starts, dramatically stroking a hand over an invisible goatee. he drags out the single syllable, making donghyuck antsy, before he bursts into laughter and wraps his arms around the younger man, rocking him back and forth. “it was really cute! i think renjunnie will love it. i would love it, if i was him.”

donghyuck pouts, but looks relieved by the response, and laughs along with johnny as he’s so affectionately manhandled by him. “ah, good, good. you had me worried for a second there. i hate when you do that.”

letting him go, johnny gives the younger man an encouraging clap on the back. “yes, but you love me, so you have to endure my antics. and the world keeps spinning.”

the younger rolls his eyes while johnny snickers maniacally at him, but both of them turn toward the door when a voice catches their attention. it’s jaehyun standing there, phone in hand, looking at them with a raised brow and a taut smile. 

“am i interrupting something?”

“no, no,” johnny insists, and donghyuck takes it as his cue to exit, to offer the couple some privacy. 

“no, hyung, i was actually just on my way out. i’m going to find mark and make him play overwatch with me,” he announces, getting up from johnny’s bed, and making his way past jaehyun, who pats the youngest’s hair affectionately. “you two have fun. but not too much.”

jaehyun laughs, shaking his head. “it’s two in the afternoon. we aren’t that adventurous.” 

the remark earns a laugh from johnny, too, who immediately opens his arms to encourage jaehyun to come nearer. it works, and he takes the place where donghyuck had been sitting next to johnny on the bed, curling up next to his boyfriend comfortably. 

“hey,” he says simply, giving the older man a dimpled smile.

“hey,” johnny says back, more enthusiastically, which causes both of them to giggle. it’s not often they get to spend time together these days, with living on different floors and preparing for their album release in october, so every moment is enough to bring about those butterflies that never left, even after two years. 

“i have something to show you,” jaehyun tells him after a stretch of sitting in comfortable silence. he pulls out his phone, opening the document that had been sent to all of the members regarding the final cut of their album tracklist. “you saw this, right?”

“yeah,” johnny answers, giving a short nod, “i do check my email from time to time.” he chuckles, figuring that he knows what this is about. “does what you want to show me perchance have anything to do with your songwriting debut?”

a faint pink stains the tips of jaehyun’s ears, and he nods, biting softly into his lip. “yes. i know you haven’t seen the lyrics, yet, just the title, but … i wanted to share the part that i wrote with you.” to be fair, the title likely tells johnny everything he needs to know about what jaehyun had written, but he still wished to show it to him before any of the other members saw it. he switches to the notes app of his phone, pulling up the document where he had typed out the lyrics for his part of ‘dancing in the rain’, and he somewhat shyly passes it over to the other man, resting one of his hands on johnny’s thigh after the older takes the phone. 

“you know,” says johnny, “you’re the second person today to ask me to look over something you’ve written.”

jaehyun chuckles. “is that so? well, you write lyrics a lot, don’t you? so you can tell me how i did.”

with a smile, johnny looks down at the words typed on jaehyun’s phone, and immediately, he feels a burst of warmth in his chest. it’s only a few lines, but they’re incredibly sentimental, obviously referring to the night they had shared together two years ago, which had served as the catalyst to the beautiful relationship they’ve been in ever since. johnny couldn’t help but think about it every time it rained, and neither could jaehyun, who had been more than honest when he claimed he’d remember that night forever. now, it would be immortalized in a song on their album, a sweet secret just for the two of them. 

“aww, jaehyunnie …” the older man sighs out, touched by jaehyun’s efforts, “this is so sweet, and special. you really wrote this about us?”

“of course,” jaehyun nods, lacing his fingers into the other man’s and smiling wide at him, “you couldn’t expect me to hear they were working on a song called ‘dancing in the rain’, and to not think of you, and that night …”

“mm,” johnny hums, leaning in to give the younger man a soft, loving kiss. it’s more than just a peck, as he lingers for quite a while, but it’s less substantial than something a little more heated, that may tempt them into more _adventurous_ acts, as jaehyun had earlier put it. “you did great, baby. and this is really special to me, i can’t say that enough … thank you. not just for this, but for being all mine.”

“you don’t have to thank me for that,” jaehyun says softly, looking up at his lover with stars in his eyes, “i’d be yours in any lifetime. you’ve brought all the sunshine in the world to my rainy days.” he tilts his head, smiling a little wider as he looks at his beloved. “just promise me we’ll go dancing in the rain again, sometime.” 

smiling, johnny presses a soft kiss to jaehyun’s dimpled cheek. “i promise, babe.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @[tyonghoe](https://twitter.com/tyonghoe) for more johnjae-related shenanigans. 
> 
> thanks so much for reading!! comments/kudos are always appreciated! i am a slut for validation!


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